MJ’s Extraordinary Story
Achieving Independence and Success after Surviving Domestic Abuse
MJ has been a source of inspiration for our members since we first met her. Knowing about the obstacles she has overcome to attain her success is even more inspiring…..
As a newlywed, MJ had many hopes and dreams for a promising future. She was a child bride in an arranged marriage who had no idea of the suffering that lay ahead of her. Eventually, the 12 years of humiliation and violence that she encountered at the hands of her spouse took their toll. She had become a broken woman who seldom spoke or left the house. One fateful day the violence escalated to the point where she knew she had to leave. MJ and her two young daughters fled their home with no food, money, or clothing.
MJ had never asked for help before and didn’t know where to turn for assistance. However, she researched on her own and identified local support services to approach. Staff at the Harvest Project and other North Vancouver agencies were tremendously helpful. First, a crisis services agency helped her find housing for herself and her girls. Next, during their longer-term stay at a transition house, the staff introduced her to a program for victims of intimate partner violence. A client care worker helped MJ meet her family’s basic needs for food and shelter as well as help her refine her future career goals. During this time of upheaval and adjustment, MJ began to realize that further education was her only path to an independent future free of violence.
Once she secured permanent housing and the girls were established in school, MJ turned her sights on her education. While researching funding opportunities she was given a Soroptimist Live Your Dream application. MJ commented that its questions about her dreams for the future spoke to her and sparked her motivation to pursue her educational goals.
MJ was accepted to UBC’s School of Social Work Bachelor’s Degree program. For the next four years, MJ faced the daunting challenges of single parenthood along with managing a household, attending university classes, and studying every night after putting the girls to bed. She was also being stalked by her ex-husband during this time, which added to her stress. MJ was exhausted and she cried a lot. When asked if she was ever tempted to give up, she said that no, the idea of a better future always kept her going.
MJ’s story is clearly a success. She earned a cash award through our Soroptimist club’s Live Your Dream Award in 2018, and since then she has continued to raise her girls on her own, complete her four-year degree and land a full-time job as a social worker.
MJ’s experience has also spelled success for her daughters. MJ reflected that when she was married her husband would talk enthusiastically about their daughters becoming child brides. Present-day conversations in her family are much different now. Her girls have watched MJ work hard to complete her education. MJ has shared some of her experiences with them about helping other abused women by working on a crisis line and by escorting them to court. Rather than talking about becoming child brides, MJ and her girls now engage in conversations about education, politics, and their career goals.